Lists

The online lit magazine, McSweeney's, has a section of funny lists. I just sent this one in, and you get an exclusive preview.

Phrases You Thought You Heard When Others Mentioned Twentieth-Century U.S. Presidents

Run old ray gun

Shimmy car door

Share all Darfur-ed

Er…Itch hard, Nicks on!

Who’d row ill, son?

The ardor rules if felt

Her beer too far

Fear ankle, and he rules if felt

Sure, sherbet. Oh, I hawk war putsch

Sure stub your putsch

Will he, um, shiver sunk lint in?

Tea white-eye zen hour

Jawin’ if kindred-y

Ailin’ down mange on sin

Cowfan clueless

Will he, um, owe a taffeta?

War on jihad-ing

‘Ere he is drummin’